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MOVIES I HAVE TO SEE IN 2010
by Diego Kontarovsky
There's actually a
bunch of articles exactly like this on other websites, like Aint It
Cool News and Rotten Tomatoes, and they're way better than this
one. I half-assed the shit out of this. I could have
maybe done some research and made this more comprehensive, but I
think part of what interested me about this article was how limited
it would be by my own scope of movie news and artists at this exact
time. I always like
to look back at the end of the year and think about how good and bad
all the movies were, and I thought it would be cool to compare it to
my perspective at the beginning of the year, which is right now.
I'm looking forward to the following movies with blind hope.
Some of them will be awesome. Some of them will be shitty.
But only one thing's for sure.
I have to see all of them.
HONORABLE MENTION: KICK-ASS
Release Date: April 16, 2010
I can't put this one on the list, because I already saw it at a
preview screening. The effects and score were unfinished, but it was
fucking awesome. I think everyone should see this movie. And skip
the trailers, if possible. This movie's greatness somewhat hinges on the
element of surprise. I feel this way about most movies.
What should you do before you see it? I suppose you could
read the comic book it's based on. I haven't read it, but I
can at least testify that the movie works just fine on its own.
I don't think you can go wrong either way, because Mark Millar is
one of the best comic book writers eva.
18. THE KARATE KID
Release Date: June 11, 2010
I actually expect this one to be a massive letdown. But, like the
title says, this is a list of movies I HAVE to see in 2010.
And The Karate Kid is one of my all-time favorite franchises.
The original is the best, but the three sequels were all pretty
awesome. I was surprised how Miyagi's voice as a character was
fairly consistent even in The Next Karate Kid, which was written and
directed by new people. So I really can't say for sure what this remake is going to
achieve. It could even potentially be a worthy successor. But probably
not. Just watching the trailer for it, they're already pissing
all over the original.
By the way, this comes out on June 11, which is kind of a special
day. Some good movies have come out on June 11 in the past,
such as E.T., Ferris Bueller's Day Off, and the greatest movie ever
made, Jurassic Park. Some shitty movies have also come out on
June 11, but I like to ignore those. Also coming out on this
day will be The A-Team. Maybe that should've been on this list too
(it's not).
The trailer looked really good. But then, I did warn you about
this article being half-assed.
What should you do before you see it? Watch the Karate Kid
Tetralogy (The Karate Kid, The Karate Kid Part II, The Karate Kid
Part III, and The Next Karate Kid).
17. THE WOLFMAN
Release Date: February 12, 2010
This fucking thing has been pushed back FIVE TIMES. The movie was
announced in 2006. They said it was coming out November 12, 2008.
Then February 12, 2009. Then April 3, 2009. Then November 6, 2009.
And THEN February 12, 2010. I worked Halloween Horror Nights this
year, and part of the Terror Tram video was a preview of this movie.
THEY HAD THE SAME THING LAST YEAR! Anyway, I really don't know what
the deal is with Wolfman. But I hope it lives up to the 1941
original Universal picture, and it's just a good ol' fashioned
kickass monster movie. Also, I'm willing to see pretty much
anything if Anthony Hopkins is involved.
What should you do before you see it? Maybe check out the
original 1941 Wolf Man.
16. EDGE OF DARKNESS
Release Date: January 29, 2010
I don't know where the above poster came from. The official
poster I'm seeing everywhere is different. But I like this one
better.
Anyway,
I don't know much about this one. It's based on a 1985 BBC series.
William Monahan's name is on the script. But the main reason I want
to see it is that it's an action thriller directed by Martin
Campbell (who also helmed the original series) and starring Mel Gibson. I love Martin Campbell and I love
Mel Gibson. When was the last time Mel Gibson headlined a good
action movie? 1999's Payback? Fuck! I am seeing
the shit out of this!
What should you do before you see it? Hmm. Well, you
could watch the original BBC series, but that might spoil certain
plot elements. I'd rather go in fresh. Instead, I might
just watch Payback again, possibly back to back with that Payback
Director's Cut, which I've never seen.
15. I LOVE YOU PHILLIP MORRIS
Release Date: March 26, 2010
Jim Carrey is one of my favorite actors. He's in the sacred
Top 3. Though he's made some
of the worst career moves I've ever seen an actor make, I find him mesmerizing to
watch. His talent is on a level above most actors, and usually I
find myself paying to see him squander it. I have no idea if this
movie will be good. I'm not sure what kind of character Carrey plays
in it. But we've seen that he excels when he portrays the sort of
abnormal personalities that exist on the fringe of society. The
Cable Guy. The Mask. Ace Ventura. In this one, he plays a guy who
develops an intense attachment to his prison cellmate. So, I guess it could swing either way.
What should you do before you see it? Pray.
14. THE SOCIAL NETWORK
Release Date: October 15, 2010
This is a movie about the creation of Facebook, based on some book. Seems like it's got a pretty solid cast, which includes Jesse
Eisenberg and Justin Timberlake. But basically I want to see this
because it's directed by David Fincher and written by Aaron Sorkin.
Aaron Sorkin is one of the best screenwriters of all time. I will
watch anything he writes. To utilize a tired cliché, he could adapt
the phone book.
What should you do before you see it? Maybe read that book
it's based on? The Accidental Billionaires: The Founding Of
Facebook, A Tale of Sex, Money, Genius, and Betrayal. It
couldn't really be that juicy, could it? You could also just
surf Facebook. Or maybe save that for after the movie.
That's how we'll know if it's good, I guess. Will you be
walking out, saying, "I'm gonna go home and go on Facebook!"
Hey, maybe they'll make a sequel about Twitter. Or a prequel
about MySpace. Or a direct-to-video unlicensed ripoff about
Friendster.
13. MACGRUBER
Release Date: April 23, 2010
Man, I've been waiting for this. A good ol' fashioned SNL
movie. Movies based on Saturday Night Live sketches have been
in short supply of late. We had The Blues Brothers in 1980.
That's maybe the best one right there. And in 1992, we got
three-- Bob Roberts, Mr. Saturday Night, and Wayne's World.
ONE of those became the 10th highest grossing movie of the year,
spawning an immediate sequel and kickstarting the golden age of SNL
movies. And would you believe it WASN'T the Billy Crystal
dramedy about the old comedian?
In 1993, we got Wayne's World 2 and The Coneheads. In 1994, we
got It's Pat! Then, in 1995, we got Stuart Saves His Family.
Those last two really underperformed at the box office. So
that, plus the breakdown of the core SNL cast in the mid-90's,
really put an end to the SNL movie. The show kinda stumbled for
a few years, until the late 90's, when it found a solid cast in the
"Will Ferrell era," and they started doing movies again. In
1998, we got A Night at the Roxbury, which was awesome. This
was followed by Superstar in 1999 and The Ladies Man in 2000.
I never really got around to seeing either of those. Which
sucks, because that was pretty much it. Mike Myers almost made
a Sprockets movie around then, but he pulled the plug on it.
And for the last decade,
the show has excelled with a new cast, but there have been no
movies. Sure, the current SNL cast has been regularly
appearing in shitty movies, but not ONE of them attempted to stretch a 5-minute sketch
into feature length. It was sad.
But now, we got MacGruber. An action comedy premise based on
one of the shortest recurring sketches on the show! MacGruber
is the perfect choice. It was recently spun off into its own
series of Super Bowl commercials for Pepsi. It's got all the
makings of a classic SNL movie. All-star cast. Action
story
potential. And the nostalgia factor, since MacGruber is a
parody of the old MacGuyver show. So there you go. They
got my 12 dollars!
Man, movie tickets are fucking expensive now.
What should you do before you see it? You could watch some
episodes of MacGuyver if you want. Or maybe check out all the
MacGruber episodes on the Internet. Or just have yourself an
SNL movie laugh-a-thon.
12. ROBIN HOOD
Release Date: May 14, 2010
Ridley Scott is a great director, so I generally want to see
everything he makes. And the cast is looking hella tight.
I'm always down for some William Hurt.
But this is also another one where nostalgia factors into my
excitement. Because if you're JUST old enough, you remember
the time of Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves. A classic early
90's period piece, complete with an era-defining love theme by Bryan
Adams. Even if you haven't seen this movie, you've heard
"(Everything I Do) I Do It for You." Damn that's good!
The movie was then directly parodied by the masterful Robin Hood:
Men in Tights, which is Mel Brooks in top form.
So, I really can't wait to see this new take on the old story and
see how it differs from what we got 19 years ago.
What should you do before you see it? You don't need to do
anything, but there's so many adaptations of Robin Hood already,
from Errol Flynn to anthropomorphic foxes. They've been making
Robin Hood movies since 1908! Might as well check some of
those out. I would recommend a double feature
of Prince of Thieves and Men in Tights.
11. KNIGHT AND DAY
Release Date: July 2, 2010
This is an action movie where Cameron Diaz goes on a blind date with
Tom Cruise, but it turns out he's a secret agent, and I guess lots
of crazy trouble ensues. I know very little about this movie.
I'm hoping it's Mission: Impossible meets 1987's Blind Date, although I
dare not realistically expect such an orgasmic combo.
What should you do before you see it? Don't need to do
anything. But hell, if you have some time, watch Blind Date.
It's a comedy starring Bruce Willis, Kim Basinger, and John
Larroquette, and it's fucking awesome. I like when Bruce
Willis does comedies.
10. PREDATORS
Release Date: July 9, 2010
So this is just another Predator movie, produced by Robert
Rodriguez. We haven't had a real Predator movie in a while.
We had the original Predator in 1987, which was fucking seminal, and then
we had Predator 2 in 1990, which I thought really didn't live up to
the first one at all. Then in recent years, we had two Alien
vs. Predator movies, but like, do we count those? Did Freddy
vs. Jason count? I definitely
liked Freddy vs. Jason. But that's neither here nor there. I guess they
just want to go back to
basics with a proper Predator movie. And don't think I didn't
catch the little homage to the Alien franchise by naming the sequel
Predators (like Aliens). I guess it would be too funny if they
called it Predator 3.
What should you do before you see it? Predator, Predator 2.
That should be more than enough.
9. STEP UP 3-D
Release Date: August 6, 2010
The Step Up movies are excellent. Some of you probably don't
realize, but the latest thing today is "stepping." It's like
gang violence, but instead of fighting with fists or weapons, you
battle through dance. I really like this burgeoning new genre
where someone moves to a new area and it turns out there's a whole subculture of something really specific that
every kid in town is into. Of course, in some movies,
it's just fighting, like Never Back Down or... Fighting. And
in Drumline, it was marching band drums. So, considering all
the possible subcultures happening at once, these protagonists
really have to count their lucky stars. What if the smartass
drag racer from Tokyo Drift ended up in the town from You Got
Served?
Anyway, Step Up was great. And Step Up 2 The Streets took it
to the next level (the streets). But now Step Up 3-D is
gonna take it to the next level after THAT. 3-D. And
yes, Channing Tatum and Briana Evigan are back, although I don't
know to what extent.
I don't even want to think about what's next for this series.
The fourth one's gonna have to be a fucking ride.
What should you do before you see it? Watch Step Up and Step Up 2 The
Streets. And if you can't find either of them, maybe
just throw on Stomp the Yard? I think it's the same basic
gist.
8. SHUTTER ISLAND
Release Date: February 19, 2010
As you can see from the poster, this was supposed to come out back in October 2009, but they pushed it back.
Which was disappointing, as I had kinda been hoping it would be like the Changeling of 2009
(Changeling was an October 2008 Eastwood movie that also involved a
sort of prison).
Shutter Island's got Leonardo DiCaprio and it was directed by Martin
Scorsese. You don't fuck around with a Scorsese movie.
His last film won Best Picture. So what's wrong with this?
Why the push to February?
Apparently, Paramount didn't have the financing to market it in
October, and figured they could save money by releasing it in the
spring. Is that even true? And why did you guys sell all
your theme parks a few years ago? You could've changed Kings
Island to Shutter Island! WHAT ARE YOU DOING, PARAMOUNT?
What should you do before you see it? You could read the
Dennis Lehane novel it's based on. Might ruin the movie
though. I never know if I should see the movie first or read
the novel. I guess it depends on the movie. There's
just... no
correct policy.
7. HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS, PART I
Release Date: November 19, 2010
I already know some cool stuff that's gonna be in this movie, but
for the people who haven't read the book, I'm gonna keep my trap
shut. I'll just say Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows I and
II will probably make up a solid movie. The only problem I can
foresee is that they might not stand very well on their own. Like
the Matrix sequels. I think Matrix Reloaded and Revolutions
add up to a pretty good single movie. More importantly, the
book was not written in two parts. By design, it's one big
story, since each book represents one year in Harry Potter's
seven-year time at Hogwarts.
It's really weird that I like the Harry Potter movies, and have even read
some of the books. When Harry Potter got really popular back
in the day, I was pretty uninterested. Cuz like, it was a
children's book series, wasn't it? I remember one time I was
riding the bus to the mall so I could see the latest Coen Brothers
movie, and there was a freak sitting across from me wearing a bunch of
Harry Potter shit. I think we were both the same age. And I just
thought this guy was out of his mind. What a fucking nerd!
But I guess it all turned around for me when I saw the third movie
in theatres. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban is a
brilliant film, and to this day, my favorite Harry Potter
movie. Even though it's not the one with Dobby. I love Dobby. Dobby is the fucking shit.
But where was I? Oh yeah. Just remember when you see
this, you're getting half a movie.
What should you do before you see it? Watch the Harry Potter
Hexalogy. That's Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, Harry Potter and
the Chamber of Secrets, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban,
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, Harry Potter and the Order of
the Phoenix, and Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. Maybe buy
one of those stupid box sets that doesn't leave room for the
upcoming movies.
6. SCOTT PILGRIM VS. THE WORLD
Release Date: August 13, 2010
Scott Pilgrim is a comic book by Bryan Lee O'Malley. It comes
out in digest-sized black-and-white paperbacks every so often.
Five volumes of what will eventually be a complete six-book series
have already come out. I'm not sure if the movie will cover the events
of all six books, but I would assume so. Even though one of
them does not yet exist.
It's about a guy who falls in love with a girl, but then has to
defeat her seven evil exes. There's a lot of quirky humor
influenced by music and video games. It's one of the best
comic books ever made. Between this source material and the
direction of Edgar Wright, I could not be more excited to see this.
What should you do before you see it? Maybe read all
those books. There's Scott Pilgrim's Precious Little Life,
Scott Pilgrim vs. the World, Scott Pilgrim & the Infinite Sadness,
Scott Pilgrim Gets It Together, and Scott Pilgrim vs. the Universe.
I think they're also looking to release a video game with the movie.
I have no idea when the last book will come out.
5. TOY STORY 3
Release Date: June 18, 2010
I was just a punk kid when the original Toy Story came out in 1995.
It was in the early days of the Internet. My brother and I
would go to the Toy Story website and print out pictures of the
characters. Just to look at them, I guess? Anyway, I
count it as part of my magical Disney childhood.
Toy Story 2 came out in 1999. It was just gonna be a
direct-to-video piece of shit like Disney liked to do with all their
movies, but when they saw how good it was coming out, they
rerendered it into a proper theatrical release. And in the
end, it was a kickass sequel. But it almost ruined everything.
See, back before Disney and Pixar merged, they had a three-picture deal,
and Disney didn't want to count Toy Story 2 as one of the five in
the deal, and Pixar said that was bullshit. So there was some
bad blood between the two companies, and at one point, Disney just
said fuck it and started production on their own non-Pixar Toy Story
3. And Pixar already had a concept for Toy Story 3. But
Disney came up with their own storyline. I remember reading
about it when their shitty non-Pixar Toy Story 3 was actually in production.
The original Pixar idea dealt with Andy growing up, and the ultimate
fate of his toys. The shitty non-Pixar idea that Disney was
making involved a mass recall of every Buzz Lightyear toy in the
world, which makes no sense. Luckily, Pixar ended up becoming
a part of Disney, and Pixar co-founder John Lasseter became Chief
Creative Officer of both Pixar and Disney Animation Studios.
And he immediately took Disney in a new direction. He stopped
all the shitty direct-to-video sequels that Disney had been
pumping out for years. He planned a return to hand-drawn 2D animation,
starting with 2009's The Princess and the Frog. And he 86'ed
the shitty non-Pixar Toy Story 3, so that Pixar could do it right.
This is Pixar's 11th film, in an uninterrupted string of
masterpieces. There are no bad Pixar movies. There are
only Pixar movies you like, but not as much as other Pixar movies.
The worst Pixar movie is great. You get the idea. I like
that Pixar is influencing Disney to approach movies more as artists
and less as a company. Although I'm also sure there's no
coincidence between the unprecedented success of Cars merchandise
and the fact that Cars 2 is coming out next year.
Whatever. I'm sure it'll be good. Maybe even the best
worst Pixar movie yet.
What should you do before you see it? Just watch Toy Story
and Toy Story
2.
4. RAPUNZEL
Release Date: November 24, 2010
Hey, speaking of Disney magic. Can anyone remember when the
last good Disney animated feature was? Lilo & Stitch?
Tarzan? Their animation renaissance really ended somewhere
around Hercules.
The rest is all pretty much crap, isn't it? Their CGI is a
fucking joke! Absorbing Pixar was the best idea Disney's had
since they decided to make an animated musical about a mermaid.
The Princess and the Frog wasn't perfect, but it was a massive leap
in the right direction. And I'm excited about the new things
Disney's trying in the future. Rapunzel is CGI, which is like,
whatever. But it's going to be a very stylized universe where
we sort of inhabit a painting. Like, we feel the brush
strokes, and the motion is fluid, like something hand-drawn.
Whether this is a success or not, the concept alone deserves
commendation. I mean, if I had my way, I'd have them all
painting directly onto cels again, but I'll take what I can get.
Plus, they've got Alan Menken doing the music. I'm
definitely into that.
What should you do before you see it? Nothing. Watch
Aladdin.
3. SAW VII 3D
Release Date: October 22, 2010
I see a number of people aren't into the Saw franchise, but I
fucking love it. And really, I don't give a shit about gore or
torture scenes. The first Saw is a great stand-alone thriller.
When the studio fast-tracked Saw II and released it exactly one year
after the first, I went in expecting the usual garbage we get from
fast-tracked horror sequels. But... it was good! And it
wasn't even a rehash of the first one! It was a new story that
built ELEGANTLY off the first! Then, one year later, we got
Saw III. And I liked it even better than II! This trilogy
was written by Leigh Whannell, and I am in awe of his ability to
crank out such high-quality work at such breakneck speeds.
Then came IV through VI. This trilogy was written by Patrick
Melton and Marcus Dunstan. By this point, they seemed to know
that the sequels were coming, because they started hiding setups in
the story that they knew wouldn't get paid off until future
installments. That made the wait for these three extra
frustrating. V in particular felt like half a movie. But
altogether, it's amazing how this series just feels like one long
movie that twists all over itself. I've never seen any
franchise like it. I sincerely applaud the people behind it.
Unfortunately, Saw VI didn't do well at the box office, so there's
no guarantee the franchise will go anywhere beyond VII. But
this is also kind of a good thing, because it means there won't be
any more hidden setups. This movie will HAVE to stand alone
(and, I'm sure, build upon the previous installments as the Saw
films tend to do). Now, I personally think the failure of Saw
VI was a little bit of a fluke, because it happened to come out at
the same time as Paranormal Activity, which was a freak phenomenon,
not unlike Blair Witch, or... My Big Fat Greek Wedding. And it
sucked in the EXACT audience that would have otherwise been at Saw
VI-- the horror crowd. Consider the fact that Saw VI was
actually the BEST reviewed Saw movie since part I, and yet the
lowest-grossing. We'll just have to see what happens when VII
comes out. All the running threads have been more or less
resolved, and the writers are free to take the story wherever they
want, with the understanding that it could be the last. This
gives VII a lot of potential.
And it's in 3D!
What should you do before you see it? Watch the Saw Hexalogy
(Saw, Saw II, Saw III, Saw IV, Saw V, Saw VI). The video game
is not necessary, but you can play it if you want. Especially
if you dig the Danny Glover character!
2. IRON MAN 2
Release Date: May 7, 2010
Iron Man was quite simply one of the best superhero movies ever
made. Robert Downey Jr. was perfectly cast and Jon Favreau knew
what he was doing at the helm. I'm a little
disappointed that they recast Terrence Howard with Don Cheadle.
I think they're both excellent actors, but the
inconsistency bugs me. Sure, The Dark Knight also recast a major
character, but in that case, it was a major improvement. Katie
Holmes did nothing for Batman Begins.
I haven't seen the trailer for Iron Man 2, and I don't care if I
ever do. If I already know I want to see a movie, I don't
really need to see the trailer. I'd rather have a pure viewing
experience, as the filmmaker intends. These people don't spend
months agonizing over every frame for the trailer. They do it
for the movie, and that's all I care about seeing. Anyway, I
hope they have a villain who's as good as you-know-who from part 1.
What should you do before you see it? Watch Iron Man.
And The Incredible Hulk. Trust me. ;)
1. INCEPTION
Release Date: July 16, 2010
First of all, I think that poster's ridiculous. It's the exact
poster they used for The Dark Knight, except it's Leonardo DiCaprio
instead of the Joker. Look:
At least they didn't use the same font.
No, but seriously, they used the same font. That's really
fucked up. You don't need to market a director this way.
Especially one so talented and uninterested in gimmicks. The
guy made the second-highest-grossing movie of all time (at the
time). I think we remember who he is without a campaign of
subliminal Batman shit. Oh, and look, they even gave it the
Dark Knight release date. Middle of July.
Anyway, Nolan is an undisputed master, and I don't know a thing
about this movie. Just the way I like it.
What should you do before you see it? Whatever you feel
like.
So there's my list for 2010. Here it is in
chronological order:
01.29.10: Edge of Darkness
02.12.10: The Wolfman
02.19.10: Shutter Island
03.26.10: I Love You Phillip Morris
04.16.10: Kick-Ass
04.23.10: MacGruber
05.07.10: Iron Man 2
05.14.10: Robin Hood
06.11.10: The Karate Kid
06.18.10: Toy Story 3
07.02.10: Knight and Day
07.09.10: Predators
07.16.10: Inception
08.06.10: Step Up 3-D
08.13.10: Scott Pilgrim vs. The World
10.15.10: The Social Network
10.22.10: Saw VII 3D
11.19.10: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part I
11.24.10: Rapunzel
This'll be an entertaining year! Look how it just dips in
September though. God, that's a bad movie month. It was
always a challenge whenever I wanted to have a movie birthday party
growing up. My brother's birthday is in June. So if he
wanted to do a movie party, he got The Lion King. When I
turned 11, we went and saw For Love or Money. That was
actually pretty sweet.
-- Diego Kontarovsky
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